babies were throwing up all over the place
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You made out with two different species that night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
