Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
