whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
