Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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