My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
