He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
