If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
