D3 body, D1 cock
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
