like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
