You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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