Who wears a wallet chain?!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The struggles of a small town man whore
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
