he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
