omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize