Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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