Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
