If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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