Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize