puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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