he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize