At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
