he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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