guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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