I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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