Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
