do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i now understand why vodka
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
