it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
