she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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