where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize