i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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