with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
