New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
