Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
