White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
