i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
