Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm jealous of your bromance
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
