he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize