hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
