Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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