I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize