"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
