I think i peed on brittanys purse
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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