our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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