Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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