I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
