meet me or not, i'm out of control
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
