If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
