i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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