Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
