This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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