yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
