It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
