We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
