? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize