3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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